Sandra Bullock is finally opening up about the death of longtime partner Bryan Randall.

The actress, who dated Randall for nearly a decade, from 2015 until his 2023 death from amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, called the loss “traumatic.” She said she is only now opening up because Randall wanted to keep the health battle private.

“He asked me not to share. … I know why he asked me not to,” Bullock said on an episode of the “Smartless” podcast hosted by Jason Bateman, Sean Hayes, and Will Arnett. But she added that not being able to talk about it with most of her loved ones was isolating. Elsewhere, the “Gravity” star recalled the photographer’s declining health amid the challenges of raising her two children during the COVID-19 pandemic.

“I wasn’t even allowed to tell Amanda,” the 62-year-old mother of son Louis and daughter Laila said of her close friend and Bateman’s wife, Amanda Anka. “I wasn’t allowed to tell anybody. My sister was the only one who knew for a while.”

She eventually opened up to Anka and fellow actress Jennifer Aniston about the toll that Randall’s condition took as it worsened.

“I think where he was in his journey, both physically and mentally, I started grieving Bryan four years before he passed. There was something that had shifted,” she said. “My person left a lot earlier than the body left. I don’t think I ever dealt with that until after he passed, because you’re just on this treadmill.”

Who was Bryan Randall, Sandra Bullock’s late partner?

Randall was a model turned photographer when he was hired to take pictures for the birthday party of Oscar-winning actress‘ son, Louis, in 2015. The two began dating shortly after.

Together, the couple parented three children: Bullock’s two kids, Louis and Laila, and a daughter Randall had from a previous relationship.

On Aug. 5, 2023, Randall died at age 57 following a three-year battle with ALS, also known as Lou Gehrig’s disease. According to Mayo Clinic, ALS is a “nervous system disease that affects nerve cells in the brain and spinal cord.” The disease causes “loss of muscle control” and “gets worse over time.”

In a 2021 “Red Table Talk” episode, Bullock gushed about Randall and opened up about not tying the knot.

“I don’t want to say do it like I do it, but I don’t need a paper to be a devoted partner and devoted mother,” she said. “I don’t need to be told to be ever present in the hardest of times. I don’t need to be told to weather a storm with a good man.”

Bullock took time away from the screen as she mourned the loss. Looking ahead, she’s expected to reprise her role as Sally Owens in “Practical Magic 2,” a follow-up to the beloved 1998 classic and her first film in four years. It’s slated to hit theaters in September.

Contributing: Marco della Cava, USA TODAY